Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
The Barefoot Running Health Secret
In all my research of barefoot running I have seen hardly any discussion about grounding. For the latest research on grounding check out the book Earthing by Clint Ober. After reviewing the research in the book, and experimenting on myself as well observing the effects of several others, it is clear to me that grounding can provide tremendous health benefits including; deeper sleep, reduction in stiffness and pain, greater mental clarity, improved digestion and much more.
When your skin touches the earth your body is flooded with electrons that help eliminate free radicals and reduce chronic inflammation. I suspect this is one of the reasons barefoot runners experience a dramatic reduction in pain after just a few barefoot runs. You don't need to run barefoot to get these benefits. You can simply sit outside with the soles of your feet touching the earth. This is probably why jumping in the ocean feels so great, why yogis meditate in caves, and why many pregnant women instinctually want to go barefoot.
The risk of sitting outside with your feet on the grass is incredibly low, while the reward is very high. Give it a try and see what happens for you. With all the damage we are doing to ourselves and our environment it is essential we reconnect with the earth, our loving mother, who has birthed us and provided us boundless beauty and life.
What are your experiences with barefoot running and/or grounding?
Friday, March 19, 2010
ChiRunning Simplified Video
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Having One Night Stands with Ho-Ho's
The title was absolutely meant to shock and awe you all! When I first started doing health coaching, I delivered this talk called Building a Positive Relationship with Food. This was a fun talk that centered around the truly intimate relationship we share with our food. What we eat involves taking an external, physical thing and making it a part of us. What can be more intimate than that?
During the talk I likened eating fast food to a "one night stand". Think about it! We run into some glitzy and overly fake setting and pick up a juicy fake food item and rush to experience an instantaneous few moments of pleasure. The salt and the fat is just right and its texture helps it glide smoothly down our esophagus. We finish it off with a creamy sugary substance that puts us into a brief state of bliss. Then only a few moments later we are wondering what we just did.
I believe eating should be an enjoyable experience everytime we pick up a fork. I am often challenged on this point. People tell me that if they followed their bliss in regards to eating, they would scarf down ho-ho's and eat ice cream all day long. This may be true for the short term. Do food choices like these provide us with any lasting joy?
When we deprive ourselves of valuable nutrients and we don't pay attention to what's on the inside of our food, we often miss out. I am not speaking just of the thousands of beneficial minerals, vitamins and micronutrients found in clean, natural and whole foods, I am talking about our sense of self respect. When we eat real foods that we love it fosters a deep connection to our bodies. We feel nourished down to the core of our being. I thoroughly believe this stimulates thoughts and feelings within us that are self affirming.
Few would argue that the foundation of a joyful life is an abundance of true and meaningful relationships. Why not start with your food. Nature adorned it with pretty and vibrant colors just to attract you and you won't need to worry about rejection...well unless you are allergic to that particular food. The point is to enjoy food that makes you feel good all the way down through your head, heart and toes. Eat and let yourself feel wonderful about how well you are treating your body with this magnificent food you are eating. Do this and maybe you can avoid the guilt you feel when you step on the wrapper you left on the floor from your recent fling with Little Debbie.
Stay Positive,
Matthew
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A Positive Blog
I found this blog...
I thought I'd post it here because it's right up our alley!
ENJOY!
http://goodfoodbetterlife.blogspot.com/
-Caitlyn
Friday, February 12, 2010
Uncondional Love by Dr. John Douillard
Learn to Love Unconditionally
by Dr. John Douillard
Have you ever asked yourself, "Have I become a different person?"
Is there a deeper more real version of yourself waiting for the right time to show up - but for the most part letting that person out is just way too risky?!
It's Time To Drop the Old Layers of Protection
Maybe when you were three years old, someone hurt your feelings and to survive you needed to protect yourself. To do this you employed the services of your mind to help you create a personality that would keep you safe. Maybe you became the class clown, a straight A student or Mom's best helper - the better you played these roles the more they liked you. You were safe, loved and appreciated - who could ask for more?
We are all playing a lead role in a movie made by our minds designed to protect us from getting hurt and we try very hard to make a movie that everyone will like. We casted ourselves in this part when we were young and we are still reading the same lines from the same script in that same movie thirty of forty years later. Instead of pleasing our parents we find ourselves pleasing our boss, our spouse and even our kids because the script says if I do these things they will like me.
Love With Expectations Hurts
Our minds have convinced us that in order to feel loved we have to continue to perform - even into a state of exhaustion. Soon we become resentful because while bending over backwards for everyone else, sooner or later they will let you down. "For crying out loud! I do so much for them, you would think they would show some appreciation!" Or, we find ourselves saying, "If they would change, or just stop doing this or do more of that I would be willing to love them so much more." When we expect everyone in our world to change or love us back as a return on the investment we made to them, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and disaster.
Star In Your Own Movie - And Make It A Good One!
The mind has created this world of illusion to keep us safe at a time when our senses, emotions and intellect were not yet developed. When we were two, we needed this type of protection, but now at thirty-two we can become the director of our movie and change the script, create a new scene and even take on that role that you were always meant to play - your real, vulnerable, loving and powerful self. Living a life without access to this part of yourself will be, in due time, a very depressing experience.
Your senses will only offer temporary pleasure, emotions will only distract you from the yearning to be yourself for only so long until - sooner or later - you have to step into this new role. The problem is that the mind has convinced you that you can't do this. "If you just be yourself and love everyone unconditionally and they don't love you back you will be hurt devastated, it is way too risky. Just play it safe and stick with what has been working."
The mind will use your senses and emotions to distract you. It will use fear to make sure you never cross over and drive this chariot to the true, real and powerful part of yourself. It has convinced you that you are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, tall enough, skinny enough so you better stay put, safely living out a life in the illusion of the mind.
Be Happy Even When Something 'Bad' Happens
In the world of illusion we can only be happy when something good happens, if something bad happens we become unhappy. In truth, the joy of our soul is available to all of us, all the time. It is not dependant on something happening - it is the expression of our true nature -- and by definition, truth never changes. It is the emotions that change, or mood changes but who we really are is always there for us.
A flower, for example, doesn't count the number of bees that come nor does it pump up its smell just when you walk by. Its nature, as is ours, is to expand itself no matter if anyone ever loves it back. We think that we will feel better when Mr. Right comes along and loves us, fully making all our dreams come true. The reality is that this kind of love will never satisfy you.
Please try this exercise:
Take a paper and write a love letter to someone you love fully, completely. Someone you trust with all your heart. Tell them all the ways that you love and appreciate them - really go for it. While writing it know that they will never read this letter - it is for your eyes only. As you write it - become aware of how you feel writing this letter. You will see that as you write this letter you will actually feel loved, appreciated, cared for and even feel important.
All the things we so desperately think we need from someone else to make us feel good, we actually experience all by ourselves when we give love or like freely - without any concern that they will read it and then love you back.
"I love you --- but it is no concern of yours"
This is the game the mind has been playing on us for all these years. To truly win we must taste the vulnerability of true love by allowing ourselves to love without the need for any return of investment.
"I love you --- but it is no concern of yours" means I now know that what I really seek is to love rather than to be loved.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Positive Signs
I wanted to write a post on being positive. I post on this topic often because I feel people become confused by this concept. People ask "how can you just be happy all the time." Or..."thinking happy thoughts won't help all the people starving in the world." These people are absolutely right. However, being positive is not about forcing ourselves to be happy.
No one is happy all the time...the disturbing images coming out of Haiti are enough to sink even the most hardened person's heart. Holding hands and visualizing sunshine and butterflies while reading fairy tales will not pull desperate people out of the rubble. This type of catastrophe does call for people to be positive.
My brand of positivism is best displayed with an addition symbol +. When we add to something we are making a positive contribution. I was not a stellar math student but I did grasp this concept. Whenever we add or move forward me are making positive progress. I understand people will object, stating "if we put more guns on the street we are adding something but it results in tragedy." Once again this person would be correct. However, I am sure if we write out the rest of the equation we will end up with less than we started. People will lose their lives either to violence or to jail. True positivity occurs when our actions, our thoughts, our words add to the totality of human existence. There is no one on Earth who can finish out the whole equation, so we move forward in faith.
Even the smallest gesture can add to the sum. I contributed $15 to the Red Cross Haiti Relief Effort. This was matched by the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and I am sure many of my fellow classmates followed suit. In contributed with hope that my positive action would add to the efforts in the embattled country. If I simply turned off the television listened to some John Tesh music and thought about skipping through a magical forest, my gesture would at best be labeled null. I guess I would be one more supporter of John Tesh's lovely piano music....but in my estimation would have done very little.
Being positive is about progress. Each of us can either help one another evolve and in turn evolve ourselves...or we can live survival of the fittest in which each of us takes and takes until nothing is left. I believe human beings got to this advanced state of development through their positive intentions. Call me delusional but I believe it to be so. I would encourage each of you to remember that every action carries with it this potential. When I close my emails with "stay positive", I do not mean "think happy thoughts", I mean continue to evolve, to grow and to contribute to the world around you.
Stay Positive,
Matthew
To contribute to the Haiti Relief Effort see links below
Red Cross
https://american.redcross.org/site/Donation2?idb=1457186616&df_id=4437&4437.donation=form1&JServSessionIdr004=iziao0c2t1.app196a
Bill Clinton and George Bush Effort
http://www.clintonbushhaitifund.org
International Rescue Committee
http://www.theirc.org
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The "Expert" Advice we all need
Since I started this blog, I try to remind all of you that I am not an "expert." I am just on a journey to make the act of eating a positive experience for myself and the people I come in contact with. Given the holiday season, you will soon see all sorts of "experts" coming out of the woodwork offering all sorts of "expert" advice. These "experts" want to tell you all about your body and how you should treat it.
I hold a high amount of regard for people who possess a large body of knowledge and wisdom. This displays a commitment and enthusiasm towards a specific subject of interest. I also believe that sharing this knowledge and enthusiam is important for the world. However, holding onto a body of knowledge and using it as a source of power to control people's actions and behaviors is absurd.
This idea was first propogated by Plato, who felt that an intellectual elite (meaning himself and his friends) were to be privy to truth and knowledge and responsible for disseminating this at "appropriate times" to the general population. This may or may not work out. I am not sure...I unfortunately did not fall into the ranks of the elite and do not know Who Shot JFK or if extra terrestials actual run the whole show.
I do know this. The intelligence of the human organism is provided in its entirety at birth. The more we learn about ourselves and the more we tune into our own bodies the more we will know how to treat it. This is not to say ignore the work and words of experts. I read and fill myself with their knowledge regularly. I use this is a pathway from brain back into my body. Real wisdom comes from learning and applying it to yourself as an individual.
With nourishment it is important to always make your eating choices "your eating choice". How often do you hear someone say, "I've been eating seaweed all week because Dr. Octagon says it will help me lose weight." Check in with your body...maybe a piece of advice inspires a choice...only your body can tell you if it is right for you. A person is always operating from their own plane. A priest will tell you to seek God, a doctor will give you a prescription or surgery, a nutrititionist will tell you to eat healthier, an energy worker will tell you to balance your chakras all for the same problem. The truth is all these experts can be "right" at the same time..it is you that will decide the path that works best for you. The most powerful educators see themselves as guides and not as an instructor. Even geniuses were once pupils...such people can only be guided in a safe and positive direction. They will reach heights that no instructor can ever lead them.
You are the genius of your own organism. I hope what is written on this blog inspires you to realize this intelligence. Be safe and enjoy your journey!
Stay Positive,
Matthew
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Adam's Arthroscopic Surgery
My second post is regarding my recent injury. I know that some will read out of curiosity. This subject may not be relevant to many of you. I do feel this post is important because I’m hoping to help out (and reach out) to someone who has encountered a similar issue. I know that when I was first told surgery was my best option, I immediately went to Google and searched for anything regarding the left knee. More specifically, the removal of the plica, chondroplasty, and partial medial meniscus tears. In a world wide web full of information, there was actual very little to find. I had several questions regarding recovery, and what I could and could not do. Instead, I found examples which didn’t include any photos or indicate the level of activity of those who created blogs or posts. I have decided to post my story, and hopefully a fellow serious athlete will come across it and find some solace during recovery.
I won’t use my full name, but I’m Adam for those of you who have not yet been introduced. I am a competitive runner, and also enjoy doing several other activities in my free time. I love hockey, wrestling, and skateboarding. Some would say these three activities do not mix. It really doesn’t matter to me, I enjoy doing all three! As a matter of fact, my injury was actually NOT related to any of these. It was the cause of a genetic disposition. Who knew?
First, I will begin by saying I was on crutches for the first 3 days. I was told the day of the surgery, I wouldn’t feel any pain. This is because of the ridiculous amount of drugs you are given in order for the surgery to take place. The second day I was in the worst pain. Pain killers were necessary.
By the end of the week, I was once again mobile. I had the surgery about the time of my midterm exams in college, and only had to miss one of each of my 4 classes. I never fell behind in terms of class work or exams. In fact, one of my teachers was very understanding and allowed me to take the exam at home. About 4 days after the surgery, I was lifting at the gym. I wasn’t walking pretty, but I did all my lifting while sitting on a chair. This was to avoid putting pressure on the knee. Lifting was a serious part of my training. As for core, I am VERY limited. I can only do about half of what I used to be able to largely because most of my exercises involve both legs. I do all that I can at this point.
Three weeks following the surgery, one thing I have noticed is a gain in flexibility in the knee (and leg) with each passing day. The knee specialist told me I would be able to enter a pool after the second week. The reasoning for the two week delay is to avoid infections. The wounds (two holes on each side of the knee) have to close first. I have been pool running for over a week now. I try to simulate my runs in the pool, and have done one workout so far. I simulate my runs with a time goal. This goal is a minimum of 50 minutes to an hour in the pool a day. During this time, I practice the running motions and work my respiratory system by increasing effort in fighting the water’s resistance. I plan on doing at least one pool running workout a week up until I can actually run. During this week, I will also begin physical therapy. The surgeon told me this would be necessary for recovery. I was NOT given permission to use any machines or equipment involving my legs to this point. I think a significant part of the recovery will have to do with following the directions of the doctor. His (or her) word is actually more valuable than anyone. EVEN the physical therapist. There is no such thing as a speedy recovery from this type of surgery. Expect to be out for 3 months, not less. In my case, hopefully not more either. I plan on making a full recovery and will resume normal activities in February. This will mark the end of my 3 month recovery.
I have photos of the operation, and have circled the meniscus tear and scar tissue in blue.
http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Maleknia/KneeImages.jpg
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Eating Healthier?
-Adam
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
5 Best Yoga Poses For Runners
Yoga is a path to relaxation and awareness, two things that should be at the forefront of any runners training program. Many runners, especially competitive high school and college runners experience adrenal burnout from the tremendous amounts of stress placed on their body. The last thing these runners need is another “workout.” What is needed is deep relaxation of the body and mind, allowing the body to repair itself.
Those who practice ChiRunning attempt to minimize the amount of stress they place on the body. Those who practice power running purposely place stress on the body in order to get stronger. The idea is that if you stress the body, and then recover, the body will rebuild itself stronger. In my experience most runners have not maximized their recovery process. The amount of runners I know that have experienced “burnout” is overwhelming. It is time for a better process. We need a better approach.
The recovery process stems from deep relaxation. It goes far beyond “taking an easy day” “going for a recovery run” and eating protein. Below is a list of my five best yoga poses for runners. I suggest finding a good teacher to work with you on these postures as well as researching the postures on your own.
1. Savasana – also known as corpse pose. This is the pose done at the end of class. Many Yogis say this is where the benefit of practice comes. To enter the pose, lie on your back with your legs extended and hands by your waist palms facing up. Bring your heels together and let your toes fall to the side. Close your eyes and relax. Let it go. Let go of any tension you are holding in the body. Just…let…it….go….. This is a great pose to do after you run and stretch. It will help integrate your activity into your body and leave you feeling refreshed for your next run.
2. Childs pose – Childs pose is another deeply relaxing pose. It is done with your shins on the floor, big toes touching, knees spread. Forehead is touching the floor. Your belly will be resting on or between your thighs. If you cannot bring your forehead to the floor use a block to ensure that your forehead is resting on something (this helps foster the relaxation response) arms can be by your side or extended in front of you. Feel your breath flowing into your kidneys and adrenal glands.
3. Meditation posture – Meditation is a way to develop your focus. For most runners I suggest starting in a chair and not lotus position (because of tight hips) Sitting upright in a chair with your feet firmly planted and palms resting in your lap, allow your spine to become straight by pressing up through the crown of your head. You can focus on your breath, a candle flame, picture, word or phrase, sound etc…
4. Legs up the wall pose – bring your hips next to a wall and place your feet above you on the wall while lying flat on your back. Use any blankets or pillows for support. Make sure you are comfortable. This is an inversion for the legs and will help move the waste in your legs through your lymphatic system so you can start each run fresh. This is one pose that many power runners already do, specifically after races and hard workouts. This can be after every run for maximum recovery.
5. Mountain pose – If you practice ChiRunning you are already doing this. It is known as your posture. If you can’t relax in the most basic standing posture, it will be very challenging to relax and more advanced postures and nearly impossible to fully relax when running. You might think you are relaxed when running, but that might be because the endorphins have you feeling so good you don’t notice the tight areas. You should practice this pose as much as possible.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
ChiRunning - How long does it take to get it?
How long does it take to get it? I get this question all the time, and it is a difficult one to answer. In my own experience, I have “gotten it” several different times over the course of my learning journey. We call these “AHA moments.” Those moments where everything clicks and you say “AHA, I got it!” These AHA moments add a tremendous amount of joy to my running practice. As in learning any skill, when things suddenly click, and your brain and body are synched up magic begins to happen…
Like many others, I’ve experienced several AHA moments throughout my ChiRunning practice. I had several when I first read the book, and continue to have them as I run and walk. This is the beauty of ChiRunning, you are constantly learning something about your body, your mind, and your self.
AHA moments come in all forms and sizes. You might have a physical AHA moment, such as feeling gravity pull you forward, rather than using your legs to propel you. One of the more profound AHA moment s for me was an emotional one. It was my senior year of college. I had been practicing ChiRunning for a year, and my college career was coming to an end. As I entered into the championship part of the season I ran a continuous streak of PRs in the 10K (6.2miles) I had an emotional attachment to making the national meet, which requires you run a certain time to qualify. Through my ChiRunning practice I found that by NOT focusing on time, my race times improved DRAMATICALLY.
I ran 32:42, 32:20, 31:52 and 5 days after that 31:15. There was no recovery time needed from these races. The 31:15 was truly a magical race for me. Everything aligned and flowed smooth that day. The entire race was like one giant AHA moment. Although I did run considerably faster than I ever had before, it wasn’t the time I was most happy with, it was the emotional feeling I had inside my body. I was happy and everybody close to me was happy. I was projecting pure joy and relaxation and that was being reflected back to me.
That was in 2005. Close to 5 years later I’m still getting AHA moments. When I’m setting up a training plan for somebody and they ask me, “how long will it take to get it?” I explain to them that many people notice benefits right away. You are likely to experience a few AHA moments in your first session with a certified ChiRunning instructor. If you continue to practice you will continue to grow, and your journey will be a series of one AHA moment after the next. You will "get it" as soon as you start practicing, but there is always more to learn, more to grow, more to see, and more to feel. The important thing is to enjoy the journey and not worry about the destination.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Marathon - Modern Day Ritual
The first ever Marathon was not a symbolic gesture at all. The dawn of western civilization was tumultous. As a new civilization began to spread throughout Europe, Eurasia and northern Africa it came in direct contact with other people and their beliefs. Many wars were fought and people and cultures were spread across the globe by force. The first Marathon was ran by Pheidippides from Marathon to Athens to spread the news that the Greeks had triumphed over the Persians. When he reached his destination he dropped dead leaving the parting message "we are victorious." Some also name Pheidippides as the messenger who ran from Athens to Sparta to plead King Leonidas and his fabled army for help (for all you 300 fans out there).
Today, Marathons are very big affairs. Thousands of men and women of all different ages and backgrounds will take part in a single race. Everyone knows at least one person who has run a Marathon. This is no small feat, we are talking about a 26.2 mile race! That being said, 500,000 people will complete a marathon this year alone.Even though there are 50, 100 and even 150 mile races the Marathon still inspires a certain awe and respect among us.
I believe the Marathon serves as a modern day ritual for us. Whether we participate in one or simply act as spectators and supporters, there is a sense of being firmly connected to what keeps our civilization and the human race moving forward. Thousands participate, hundreds volunteer and countless turn their attention to these events in order to be reminded that we can and will endure as a people. It is amazing that the people of West Africa dominate this sport. West Africa is considered by many the "cradle of civilization"; the place where homo sapiens may have first walked the Earth. The Marathon has evolved into a ritual that symbolizes the endurance of all human beings and not just Western Civilization. Today thousands of people cross the finish line at these races...not just eccentric athletes.
The New York City Marathon will take place this weekend and a wave of people from all corners of the globe will wind through the burroughs of arguably the most culturally diverse city in the world. New York now stands as Athens once did, a city at the center of an Empire. This Empire has known art, intellectual achievement and modern innovation as well as greed, corruption and terrorism. What is so great about rituals like these is that theyt spread an energy out into the world that says "we are victorious" as Pheidippides did when he arrived in Athens. Our great cities will fall and our Empires will be replaced but these rituals will remain. They will survive to remind us that collectively we can accomplish anything.
Stay Positive,
Matthew
Monday, October 26, 2009
"Pretty Good"
This is a poem handed out at a staff meeting at school.
I thought I would share!
Pretty Good
by: Charles Osgood
There once was a pretty good student
Who sat in a pretty good class
And was taught by a pretty good teacher
Who always let pretty good pass.
He wasn’t terrific at reading,
He wasn’t a whiz-bang at math,
But for him, education was leading
Straight down a pretty good path.
He didn’t find school too exciting,
But he wanted to do pretty well,
And he did have some trouble with writing
Since nobody taught him to spell.
When doing arithmetic problems,
Pretty good was regarded as fine.
5+5 needn’t always add up to be 10;
A pretty good answer was 9.
The pretty good class that he sat in
Was part of a pretty good school,
And the student was not an exception:
On the contrary, he was the rule.
The pretty good school that he went to
Was there in a pretty good town,
And nobody there seemed to notice
He could not tell a verb from a noun.
The pretty good student in fact was
Part of a pretty good mob.
And the first time he knew what he lacked was
When he looked for a pretty good job.
It was then, when he sought a position,
He discovered that life could be tough,
And he soon had a sneaking suspicion
Pretty good might not be good enough.
The pretty good town in our story
Was part of a pretty good state
Which had pretty good aspirations
And prayed for a pretty good fate.
There once was a pretty good nation
Pretty proud of the greatness it had,
Which learned much too late,
If you want to be great,
Pretty good is, in fact, pretty bad.
Be the exception to the rule! If you want to be great (whether it be at running, teaching, writing, dancing, cooking, etc., etc.) Strive for more than "pretty good."
Strive for excellence!
-Caitlyn
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Staying Positive and Being Soft
People often say...how can I just be positive with so many awful things going on in the world? The simple truth is there are incredibly beautiful and uplifting things happening every second of the day as well. Our attention is shifted to these negative things through the added weight our media places on them or because of the heightened need of our internal survival mechanisms to notice dangerous situations. There is a constant miracle called life happening every millisecond of the day. There are children being born, people helping others, nature is constantly providing us a 24 hour spectacle. Can you imagine if the media reported all the positive things that happened each and every day?
To be aware of a negative situation is important and critical to our survival, as I alluded to earlier. Just because we are choosing to be positive does not mean we ignore a potentially damaging situation. Often people who adopt an attitude of positive thinking and feeling become "soft". They are too afraid to have sharp edges and often go along with things that are detrimental to them. When one does this they are giving away their personal power to others and opening the door to being taken advantage of. Often the kindest people we know end up in inequitable positions at work or in unhealthy relationships.
Being positive requires a strong sense of personal power. We must know when to draw a line in the sand without fighting. Rarely are we put in situations where fighting is necessary. We are no longer in medieval times, where conflict was often settled with physical battles. This does not stop us as humans from trying to inflict pain on one another. We take to using words as a way to harm people emotionally instead. The famous children's anthem of "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is a clever thing to say but it is far from the truth. How do we remain positive and avoid getting hurt?
The truth is you can't avoid getting hurt. We will always be hurt and we are often hurt by the people we care the most about. This is often why we develop a soft exterior because we want to maintain a good relationship with people even after they have hurt us. There are two important scenarios to consider:
The threat of physical pain: If you are being threatened physically, the most important thing to do is get as far away from that person as possible. If this is impossible, you need to defend yourself physically by any means necessary. Resorting to physical violence is always a last resort and a completely inappropriate and unbalanced way to deal with someone who is trying to hurt you emotionally.
The threat of emotional pain: This is much more common. People who strike out against your emotions feel very weak and insignificant and do this to develop a false sense of personal power. It is important to call these people out because they will often retreat very quickly or make a fool of themselves by continuing their useless diatribes further. A statement such as "Right now what you are saying makes me angry and if you continue I am going to either walk away or just stop listening" often works just fine. This is a statement of personal power and it is effective in the face of those who do not feel powerful themselves.
This is not easy. It may be the biggest challenge to being human. We are blessed with the intellectual and physical capacities that have allowed us to evolve into the most sophisticated animals on the planet Earth. We were also given the opportunity to experiences the richness of life through our emotions. To be fully human is to experience all three of these realms fully. Remember you are never alone in this endeavor, if you act out kindness and stay positive incredibly supportive people will have no trouble finding you.
Stay Positive,
Matthew
Alternative to Barefoot Running
The stability disc is a great supplement to your running practice. It will help you increase balance, coordination and focus. The stability disc offers many of the same benefits as barefoot running, withouth many of the hazards.